Yesterday Calvin and I went out shopping.
There was this mondo tub of Tide Oxi Clean for $8.99. It was enough for 8 million loads. Or 108. Either way, it was a lot.
So I decided to buy it. When I got to a place that actually had cell reception I googled it and found it is selling for $25 at several stores.
Holy Yoinks I got a deal, y'all!
I was so super excited.
I got home and it had all of these things you could do with it. See, it's not just for clothes it explains. You can use it on soft surfaces, hard surfaces, and laundry.
May I just say that trying to look at your house through the eyes of hard surfaces and soft surfaces is just weird to me. It takes me some thought.
My house was going to be super clean. This was the missing piece to our household. People will rave about how spotless all surfaces hard and soft are. I'll be in the newspaper...
So I took the mondo tub of Oxi up to the bathroom and decided I would clean the tub.
That's a hard surface for those of you trying to keep up ;)
I made the solution as the package said and got to scrubbing. That's when my eyes started watering and my head started pounding. When I was done my nose holes (nostrils to the common man) felt like they were raw.
Now I haven't tried it in the laundry and maybe I was just too close to the mondo tubs solution that I whipped up but something in it didn't like me. Or vice versa.
I went out of the bathroom and back in. It smelled so laundry fresh clean. All I could think is that I was breathing in harmful phlebates or phosphates or whatever the heck those harmful chemicals are. But it smelled nice and my shower was clean so I decided to breathe it in, dying contentedly.
And as I cleaned the sink I scrubbed along thinking how Oxi Clean kind of represents the rest of my life.
Did I mention there were fumes?
What I mean is, I am always trying to find that elusive missing puzzle of my messed up life. The one that will change everything. That will make me stand out. The one that will help me to finally not feel like such a screw up at this mothering and homemaking thing. The one where I will finally get it right.
But here is what I know and as I am getting older I know this to be true...
There's a perfect piece and God already nailed it on a cross so I don't have to get it right.
It's already right.
And when I try to take life back and say, it's not perfect enough, let me try some more, well that's just sin talking.
God lives in me. I need to rely on Him and His Holy Spirit to fuel me, to empower me, to enable me, to remind me that this isn't about me.
It's not about how clean my house is or how well I can be a mom.
I no longer need to look for a missing piece. I am made whole and complete through asking Jesus into my heart all those years ago.
With all of my fume induced life thoughts coming at you please allow me to leave this verse with you:
I pray that you will be filled with God's spirit today and that you set your mind on what God wants for your life: a life of peace. And if you don't know God it is never too late to ask Him into your heart. You can read all about how here. He's the missing piece that has made my life whole!
Now I just need to remember that and stop chasing lofty goals.
Now, back to the fumes... ;)